Me: On the Bus vs. Everywhere Else

The bus and I are becoming good friends, but the bus is one of those friends I can’t stand to be around too often or for long periods of time. And I’ve noticed that I behave very differently on the bus than in other places I visit in my daily life. I’ve been a tad interested in the reasons for this (most of which I’m sure are subconscious) so I’ve done some research to prove my existing theories.

The first thing I’ve noticed is that when I’m on the bus, I’m very private. I hate talking on the phone while I’m on the bus, because I really don’t want everyone else on board to know what I’m talking about. It’s not like I have incredibly private conversations or anything, I just get uncomfortable when other people know a lot about me and I don’t know who they are. I’m sure that’s normal, and Mark Knapp and Judith Hall say it is.¹

Apparently, in an environment like a bus, where everyone is so transient, and we have no control over who is coming and going, we will more likely be private in our interactions and behaviour.
I behave differently depending on who’s riding the bus with me. Knapp and Hall also say that we unconsciously dub certain individuals as “unpersons,” so we will be more comfortable being ourselves around them. These “unpersons” are people like small children and bus drivers. After reading that, I realized that I do treat the bus driver very differently from the other people on the bus. I often will be the only person on the bus for a while, particularly  later at night, because I live near the end of my bus route. Except in reality, I’m not the only person! There’s a bus driver on the bus too, I just dub him or her an unperson! How awful is that?

We also have a perception of familiarity in public places, which affects our social behaviour. I really noticed this in myself the other day when I rode a different bus route from my usual one. I have a very routine schedule. I take the same buses at the same times every week. It varies day to day, but I see the same people on my way to and from school or work every week. Obviously, I’m a little bit of a people watcher, but I feel like I know the people I usually ride the bus with, at least to some degree – I’m familiar with them. Getting on this strange bus for the time, I noticed I felt very uncomfortable and was deliberate with my actions (apparently that’s normal too!).
 
When I first started taking the bus, it was lonely getting on and off, not recognizing a single face, but as I started to develop my routine, I became more comfortable and didn’t care as much about the impression I gave to the people around me.
Some days, I’m more comfortable riding transit than others. I’ve noticed that when it’s a really nice day out, the bus will be more full, which totally makes sense. But on these days, as more people get on the bus, I can feel my blood pressure rising and my privacy screen coming up.


 
 Photo - From the Counselor's Desk

Knapp and Hall's book also says that we compensate for close quarters, when our personal space is invaded, by being less open or more private.

Along with that familiarity comes another thing: territoriality.² I’m a creature of habit (aren’t we all?), and I like to sit in the same spot all the time. Wednesday mornings, when I get on the bus, the same guy is always sitting in the very back, in the same seat. That’s not a problem for me anyways, I don’t like the very back of the bus – it’s way too warm back there. I usually sit in the first seat of the back section, but last Wednesday, this guy was sitting in my seat when I got on! I know it isn’t technically my seat. I don’t own it, and my name isn’t scratched into it (I wouldn't do that), but it’s where I always sit, and he knows that! I felt personally attacked! I ended up sitting somewhere else that day, and now I’ve almost permanently moved places. It’s like I was evicted or something.

Now, there’s something this guy always does that drives me crazy. Maybe you’ve seen this blog on tumblr, “Men Taking Up Too Much Space on the Train,” or maybe this short Buzzfeed about that blog.

 
 Photo - Glamour Paris

Well, this guy does take up too much space. I guess it doesn’t really matter when no one else is on the bus, but it still bothers me. He sits slouched down, with his legs spread wide apart, all across the back section. It’s no surprise that men and women are different in the way that we take up space – after all, we’re different in the way we communicate verbally, right?² I also did some research into public spaces in general and found some interesting info on how we show respect in public. We all adhere to an unwritten set of rules when in public (at least we’re expected to), but there are some that are particularly interesting.
We show respect and familiarity through things like greetings and gestures, like hand waves or smiles. 

While I was still new to the whole bus thing, I generally got on the bus without acknowledging the driver much at all. But on those days now when I have the same bus driver all the time, we both smile at each other and say good morning, because we are familiar with each other and respect each other. I’ve noticed that when I get on the bus at an unusual time or on a different route, I will be less likely to greet the driver and smile, or say thank you when I get off.
This is possibly because of the human tendency to prioritize practical goals over personal ones. On the bus, my main objective is to get from Point A to Point B. When I get on a bus that I probably won’t ride again in the near future, I don’t see the practical need to be as friendly with those around me. However, when I get on one of my usual buses, I prioritize my social goals to make my future trips more pleasant.

Hopefully now that I know why I behave a certain way on the bus, I can more consciously be friendly in my interactions with others.

If you want to learn more about interpersonal communications or proxemics, check out this book or this book.

Notes

     ¹Knapp, M. L. & Hall, J. A. (2010). Nonverbal communication in human interaction (7th ed.). Boston, MA: Wadsworth.

     ²Trenholm, S. & Jensen, A. (1996). Interpersonal communication (3rd ed.). Belmont, CA: Wadsworth.


 

Purse Puppies and Other Transit Pet Peeves

On the whole, transit isn’t so bad. However, there are certain things that happen on the bus and skytrain that absolutely drive me crazy! Here are my top seven pet peeves:

#7. Eating

Alright, I eat on the bus sometimes, especially if I’m heading home from school and I know it will be a while until dinner. Call me a hypocrite all you want, but it isn’t the snackers that bother me on the bus. What bothers me is when people bring something warm, large, and delicious-smelling. On my way home, when I haven’t eaten for a few hours, it’s nearing dinner time, my stomach is rumbling loudly enough that people around me can hear it, and all I want to do is eat something, I don’t want to smell your delicious burger! I don’t want to see you lick your fingers clean of your doughnut residue! It’s torturous really, and it should be a crime.

#6. Crowding

There are of course exceptions to this one. Obviously, if you’re heading to the airport, you’re going to have a suitcase with you – that’s totally reasonable. Or if you’re coming back from the grocery store, it’s understandable to have a couple bags by your side. The pet peeve I’m talking about though, is unnecessary crowding.

“Sorry to ask, Mam, but does your bag really need to take up a whole seat? Would you mind putting it on your lap?”

“Excuse me sir, but would you mind sitting up in your seat so these two people and I can sit too? Greatly appreciated.”

Of course, being the good Canadian that I am, I would never say these things out loud, but I sure feel like it sometimes.

#5. Second and Third-Hand Smoke

Yes, people are allowed to smoke at uncovered bus stops, unfortunately, but it would be really nice if they could not sit in the middle of the bench forcing me to breathe it in too. The worst thing though is when someone, on the bus or skytrain (both closed-in spaces), sits beside me with smoke-coated clothing and tobacco breath. I’m not sure if they know that my sneezing is actually a result of their bad habit, but it is.

#4. Animals

Yep. Animals. It’s only happened a couple times, and yes they are allowed on the bus, according to TransLink. I guess the couple little dogs in travel cages that I have seen haven’t really done anything to hurt me. In fact, they’re usually pretty quiet. This “pet” peeve (Ha! See what I did there? Budmmmp-schhh!) most likely stems from my dislike of small dogs in general. I have always found small dogs irritating, with their intense energy and high-pitch yaps. Maybe I should get past that.

#3. Strollers

Again, with this one, it’s all about being reasonable. Strollers are perfect for taking small children with you. It stops them from whining about sore feet and keeps them out of harm’s way. However, some parents can be absolutely ridiculous with their demands for space. Numerous times, I have witnessed parents with children of about four or five years take up entire wheelchair sections, preventing a handicapped passenger from being able to ride the bus. If children are capable of walking, they are capable of riding the bus without a stroller. Just fold it up and let someone have your space who needs it more. (Check out TransLink's "The Buzzer" for more stories.)

#2. Gum Chewers

Oh. Your breath stinks? For sure, chew some gum! You’re quitting smoking? Good for you! You chew that gum! Just whatever you do, DO NOT CHEW WITH YOUR MOUTH OPEN. We’re getting down to my biggest pet peeves now… the ones that really, really irk me.

Just yesterday, I was sitting in the back of the bus on my way to school, wondering why my lap was wet (turns out my water bottle spilled in my bag, soaking all my books), when this guy walked on and I could hear his chewing long before he was anywhere near me.

Chomp. Chomp. Chomp.

“We have a chewer!!!” I felt like yelling across the bus, but I held my tongue, because good Canadians don’t do that type of thing.

#1. Earphones: the Transporter to Another Universe

There must be something magical or extra-terrestrial put into earbuds and headphones, because for some reason, as soon as people put some on their heads, they disappear into a different world.  I know commuting provides time for you to catch up on your favourite podcast or listen to that album you haven’t listened to in ages, but I think many of your fellow passengers would appreciate it if you put some extra effort into paying attention. It isn’t such a bad thing if you’re sitting in a window seat. Chances are, you’re not in anybody’s way or causing any problems. The issue comes from people standing in the middle of the bus with their earphones in and their eyes closed. I don’t know why on earth anyone would think it’s a good idea to do that, but it happens all the time. All. The. Time.

“Sir,” an elderly woman says as she tries to get by a young man blocking the exit.

“Sir?” she asks again. He doesn’t move. She asks him one more time before tapping him on the shoulder. He opens his eyes and takes out one earphone.

“Sir? Excuse me. I need to get past you.”

 As this point, almost everyone on the bus is staring at him. Embarrassed he moves out of the way and the woman gets off the bus.

That situation most certainly could have gone bad very quickly. Most people on the bus are not as patient as that woman. I just wish people would be more respectful of others while on the bus, and take out at least one earphone once in a while.

Now, I think it’s probably time I share some positive stories from my transit adventures, but that will have to wait for another day. Make sure to subscribe to my blog so you don’t miss out!

Anatomy of a Bus: Where to Sit

I've been riding the bus almost every day for about eight weeks now, and sometimes I still don’t know where to sit. The first couple weeks, I sat in the middle of the bus all the time - close enough to see the road but also near the back door so I could make a quick escape. Every seat on the bus provides a different perspective and presents its challenges.

The Back

Because the back of the bus is mostly occupied by university students, it’s generally pretty quiet. On the odd day though, there can be some excitement.

Just last week, I was sitting in my usual spot on the morning bus when a group of about thirty students climbed on with their teacher. I rolled my eyes. Field trip, I guess.

The students were probably in grade six or seven. A group of boys congregated near me. They were poking-fun at one of their classmates.

“Hey Richard! Are you sick? Are you not feeling well? Richard, do you have Ebola?”

I couldn't believe my ears. It is way too soon for Ebola jokes. Not cool. But then I reminded myself that I was once twelve, and that back then, it was pretty cool to make Swine Flu jokes.

The boy sitting right behind me started making comments every time we passed a fast-food restaurant.

"Look! McDonald’s! Only $1.39 for a cheeseburger! I could so go for some fries right now." He continued to list the prices for several McDonald’s menu items, and I wondered how this boy was not obese.

Unfortunately, the students didn't get off until the last stop (my stop). Getting off the bus was quite the process. The time it takes to get off is definitely a downside to sitting in the back, but that morning, it was particularly bad.

The Middle

This is the section of the bus mostly filled by the middle-age working class – the people headed to work, unconcerned with what happens on the way there. They’re generally pretty quiet, but can be interesting to observe on occasion. One time, a lady’s phone rang, and her ringtone was “Let it Go” from Frozen – that is not what I like to hear first thing in the morning. Other than that though, the middle of the bus is fairly uneventful. It is however a great place to watch the antics in the front section.

The Front

Priority Seating – these seats are reserved for elderly and disabled persons, or women with children in strollers. Unfortunately, many people don’t follow these courtesies.

“Excuse me! Excuse me!” yelled an elderly woman from the middle of the bus. Her voice was very hoarse, as if she’d spent a large part of her life smoking. “My boyfriend is getting on at the next stop and you need to move! Do you understand? He’s sixty-seven years old and he’s not a walker! Do you understand? He’s not a walker. He’s in a wheelchair and you need to move!”

When the bus came to a stop, the driver approached the young man standing in the wheelchair spot. He finally moved to another seat.

“He’s not a walker,” she continued, “and you need to move.” She kept yelling at this man who had already moved out of the way. The bus driver helped an elderly gentleman in a wheelchair (presumably this cranky lady’s boyfriend) onto the bus and buckled him into his place.

“He’s not a walker. Don’t you understand? He’s not a walker!”

“Alright! That’s enough,” blurted the bus driver, "I've dealt with the problem. Now will you please be quiet?"

There was total silence on the bus for a while after that. She didn't speak to her “boyfriend” the entire ride. I wasn't sure whether she was incredibly embarrassed by her earlier fit or if she was just crazy, but I was glad she stopped yelling.

I try to just stay out of the way and keep to myself on transit now. I don’t want to end up like that guy sitting in the priority area.

For more advice on taking public transit, be sure to check out my post from last week about learning the basics.

Guide to Your First Ride: Public Transit for Beginners

It’s a Wednesday morning, and I’m ready to take my first ride on a Metro-Vancouver bus. I leave the house and walk to the bus stop, and as I walk with the sun glaring in my face, I realise I've forgotten my sunglasses. I keep walking though – no time to turn back.

What if I don’t make it in time? Will I have to run after it like they do in the movies?

I make it to the stop, sit down on the bench, and pull out the fare ticket my uncle gave me.

Where do I put this thing? Will I get it back? How do I transfer to my next bus?

If you’re anything like me, you also have questions about riding the bus. Here are a few steps to making your trip successful.

Step 1: Planning Your Route

You probably know where you want to go already, but now you need to know how to get there.

I personally prefer using the Google Maps app. I just enter my current location, my destination, and when I would like to leave/arrive by – Google handles the rest! It tells me when to leave the house to get to the stop on time, how long to ride the bus, what stop to get off at, and where to go to reach my final destination.

Your local transit system probably has an online trip planner that will work as well (if you’re in the Vancouver area, click here). Local convenience stores and larger transit stations will also have maps and schedules you can take.

Step 2: Fare Payment

There are a few ways to pay:

            

a) Spare Change. Check your local transit website for prices – they vary from place to place.

b) Fare Tickets. These usually cost less if you buy them in a book. Places like 7-Eleven and Shoppers Drug Mart typically have them.

c) Transit Pass. If you plan on taking transit regularly (or every day, in my case), then this is the way to go. Passes are for unlimited travel, so you never have to worry about having fare for the day. (Check for discounts too, especially if you’re a student or senior)

Step 3: Getting On

Be at your bus stop early (3-5 minutes before). There is nothing worse than watching the bus pull away from the curb, and you probably don’t want to be that person running to make it on in time.

Have your fare ready when the bus arrives – no one wants to wait for you to get it out.

Let any elderly or disabled persons go ahead of you. If you plan on riding the same route often, you may want the other riders to like you.

Insert your ticket/change into the machine and wait for your transfer ticket. This serves as proof of payment and lets you get on another bus, within a certain time limit, without having to pay again. If you’re using a pass, you will either have to scan it or show it to the driver.

That reminds me of another thing: always smile at the bus driver. As you become more familiar with the system, you will realise that the driver has a hard job and every smile counts.

Now choose a seat. If you have the option, somewhere close to the back door is nice. Try to save the seats at the front for elderly and disabled people.

Step 4: Getting Off

Listen for the stop announcements so you don’t miss your stop. As soon as your stop is announced, press the stop button or pull the rope along the side of the bus (some buses may only have one or the other).

Unless you like making a fool of yourself, don’t try to move around the bus while it is starting or stopping. It’s a little hard to keep your balance during those times.

Thank the bus driver on the way out. You definitely don’t have to, but I always think it’s a nice thing to do, and lots of people do it!

Those are all the basics. Have a safe trip and feel free to ask me any questions in the comments!