Me: On the Bus vs. Everywhere Else

The bus and I are becoming good friends, but the bus is one of those friends I can’t stand to be around too often or for long periods of time. And I’ve noticed that I behave very differently on the bus than in other places I visit in my daily life. I’ve been a tad interested in the reasons for this (most of which I’m sure are subconscious) so I’ve done some research to prove my existing theories.

The first thing I’ve noticed is that when I’m on the bus, I’m very private. I hate talking on the phone while I’m on the bus, because I really don’t want everyone else on board to know what I’m talking about. It’s not like I have incredibly private conversations or anything, I just get uncomfortable when other people know a lot about me and I don’t know who they are. I’m sure that’s normal, and Mark Knapp and Judith Hall say it is.¹

Apparently, in an environment like a bus, where everyone is so transient, and we have no control over who is coming and going, we will more likely be private in our interactions and behaviour.
I behave differently depending on who’s riding the bus with me. Knapp and Hall also say that we unconsciously dub certain individuals as “unpersons,” so we will be more comfortable being ourselves around them. These “unpersons” are people like small children and bus drivers. After reading that, I realized that I do treat the bus driver very differently from the other people on the bus. I often will be the only person on the bus for a while, particularly  later at night, because I live near the end of my bus route. Except in reality, I’m not the only person! There’s a bus driver on the bus too, I just dub him or her an unperson! How awful is that?

We also have a perception of familiarity in public places, which affects our social behaviour. I really noticed this in myself the other day when I rode a different bus route from my usual one. I have a very routine schedule. I take the same buses at the same times every week. It varies day to day, but I see the same people on my way to and from school or work every week. Obviously, I’m a little bit of a people watcher, but I feel like I know the people I usually ride the bus with, at least to some degree – I’m familiar with them. Getting on this strange bus for the time, I noticed I felt very uncomfortable and was deliberate with my actions (apparently that’s normal too!).
 
When I first started taking the bus, it was lonely getting on and off, not recognizing a single face, but as I started to develop my routine, I became more comfortable and didn’t care as much about the impression I gave to the people around me.
Some days, I’m more comfortable riding transit than others. I’ve noticed that when it’s a really nice day out, the bus will be more full, which totally makes sense. But on these days, as more people get on the bus, I can feel my blood pressure rising and my privacy screen coming up.


 
 Photo - From the Counselor's Desk

Knapp and Hall's book also says that we compensate for close quarters, when our personal space is invaded, by being less open or more private.

Along with that familiarity comes another thing: territoriality.² I’m a creature of habit (aren’t we all?), and I like to sit in the same spot all the time. Wednesday mornings, when I get on the bus, the same guy is always sitting in the very back, in the same seat. That’s not a problem for me anyways, I don’t like the very back of the bus – it’s way too warm back there. I usually sit in the first seat of the back section, but last Wednesday, this guy was sitting in my seat when I got on! I know it isn’t technically my seat. I don’t own it, and my name isn’t scratched into it (I wouldn't do that), but it’s where I always sit, and he knows that! I felt personally attacked! I ended up sitting somewhere else that day, and now I’ve almost permanently moved places. It’s like I was evicted or something.

Now, there’s something this guy always does that drives me crazy. Maybe you’ve seen this blog on tumblr, “Men Taking Up Too Much Space on the Train,” or maybe this short Buzzfeed about that blog.

 
 Photo - Glamour Paris

Well, this guy does take up too much space. I guess it doesn’t really matter when no one else is on the bus, but it still bothers me. He sits slouched down, with his legs spread wide apart, all across the back section. It’s no surprise that men and women are different in the way that we take up space – after all, we’re different in the way we communicate verbally, right?² I also did some research into public spaces in general and found some interesting info on how we show respect in public. We all adhere to an unwritten set of rules when in public (at least we’re expected to), but there are some that are particularly interesting.
We show respect and familiarity through things like greetings and gestures, like hand waves or smiles. 

While I was still new to the whole bus thing, I generally got on the bus without acknowledging the driver much at all. But on those days now when I have the same bus driver all the time, we both smile at each other and say good morning, because we are familiar with each other and respect each other. I’ve noticed that when I get on the bus at an unusual time or on a different route, I will be less likely to greet the driver and smile, or say thank you when I get off.
This is possibly because of the human tendency to prioritize practical goals over personal ones. On the bus, my main objective is to get from Point A to Point B. When I get on a bus that I probably won’t ride again in the near future, I don’t see the practical need to be as friendly with those around me. However, when I get on one of my usual buses, I prioritize my social goals to make my future trips more pleasant.

Hopefully now that I know why I behave a certain way on the bus, I can more consciously be friendly in my interactions with others.

If you want to learn more about interpersonal communications or proxemics, check out this book or this book.

Notes

     ¹Knapp, M. L. & Hall, J. A. (2010). Nonverbal communication in human interaction (7th ed.). Boston, MA: Wadsworth.

     ²Trenholm, S. & Jensen, A. (1996). Interpersonal communication (3rd ed.). Belmont, CA: Wadsworth.


 

Guide to Your First Ride: Public Transit for Beginners

It’s a Wednesday morning, and I’m ready to take my first ride on a Metro-Vancouver bus. I leave the house and walk to the bus stop, and as I walk with the sun glaring in my face, I realise I've forgotten my sunglasses. I keep walking though – no time to turn back.

What if I don’t make it in time? Will I have to run after it like they do in the movies?

I make it to the stop, sit down on the bench, and pull out the fare ticket my uncle gave me.

Where do I put this thing? Will I get it back? How do I transfer to my next bus?

If you’re anything like me, you also have questions about riding the bus. Here are a few steps to making your trip successful.

Step 1: Planning Your Route

You probably know where you want to go already, but now you need to know how to get there.

I personally prefer using the Google Maps app. I just enter my current location, my destination, and when I would like to leave/arrive by – Google handles the rest! It tells me when to leave the house to get to the stop on time, how long to ride the bus, what stop to get off at, and where to go to reach my final destination.

Your local transit system probably has an online trip planner that will work as well (if you’re in the Vancouver area, click here). Local convenience stores and larger transit stations will also have maps and schedules you can take.

Step 2: Fare Payment

There are a few ways to pay:

            

a) Spare Change. Check your local transit website for prices – they vary from place to place.

b) Fare Tickets. These usually cost less if you buy them in a book. Places like 7-Eleven and Shoppers Drug Mart typically have them.

c) Transit Pass. If you plan on taking transit regularly (or every day, in my case), then this is the way to go. Passes are for unlimited travel, so you never have to worry about having fare for the day. (Check for discounts too, especially if you’re a student or senior)

Step 3: Getting On

Be at your bus stop early (3-5 minutes before). There is nothing worse than watching the bus pull away from the curb, and you probably don’t want to be that person running to make it on in time.

Have your fare ready when the bus arrives – no one wants to wait for you to get it out.

Let any elderly or disabled persons go ahead of you. If you plan on riding the same route often, you may want the other riders to like you.

Insert your ticket/change into the machine and wait for your transfer ticket. This serves as proof of payment and lets you get on another bus, within a certain time limit, without having to pay again. If you’re using a pass, you will either have to scan it or show it to the driver.

That reminds me of another thing: always smile at the bus driver. As you become more familiar with the system, you will realise that the driver has a hard job and every smile counts.

Now choose a seat. If you have the option, somewhere close to the back door is nice. Try to save the seats at the front for elderly and disabled people.

Step 4: Getting Off

Listen for the stop announcements so you don’t miss your stop. As soon as your stop is announced, press the stop button or pull the rope along the side of the bus (some buses may only have one or the other).

Unless you like making a fool of yourself, don’t try to move around the bus while it is starting or stopping. It’s a little hard to keep your balance during those times.

Thank the bus driver on the way out. You definitely don’t have to, but I always think it’s a nice thing to do, and lots of people do it!

Those are all the basics. Have a safe trip and feel free to ask me any questions in the comments!